*shuffles feet*

*looks at ground and begins mumbling*

So.  First let's start with this.  I'm incredibly gutted with myself.   Due to a myriad of reasons, the major one being an incredibly stressful personal situation, I found myself turning to an old friend.  An old friend who, in my delusion, I thought would relax me, and give me clarity of vision.   I think you might know where this is heading.  I have, ahem, new found reason to blog again. 

Yes.  I know.  Disappointing, weak, paaaaaathetic etc.  I consider this merely a blip on the road of quitting smoking - and intend to get, spurs, ten gallon hat and all, back on that horse very very shortly.   I'm aware of the praise and heartfelt messages I've been receiving from my wonderful friends and family, and how you're all likely shaking your heads in disgust.  Trust me - I've disgusted and disappointed myself just as much.

So yeah.  Watch this space.  I need to go and confess all to my GP and get a new script for Champix - as you need to start on the half strength pills again.  I think finishing Champix early, combined with my above shite, may have been my undoing.  Oh, and the earthquake played a part too. 

Sorry.

So? Am I?

I've been asked so many times lately whether I'm still not smoking. 

That tells me one of two things - quite a few people are actually READING this, and quite a few people know, due to my unfortunate history, that previous attempts to quit have revealed I'm as weak as a wobbly jelly sponge when it comes to quitting....

ALSO I guess, to be fair to the Doom Sayers, there's been earthquakes, extra families inhabiting Casa Del McCulloch, trips in airplanes to weddings with lots of booze, staying in an apartment EXPRESSLY picked four months ago for it's "Smoking Balcony Views - and to top it all off - Charlie Sheen looking so goddamned happy every night, all chain smoky and stuff... (Ok, he also looks insane, and older than his FATHER now, but still - look how those cigarettes are there supporting him in his hour days of need)......

SO... The short, only and final answer is that No, I am NOT smoking.  Also am officially off Champix/Chantix - and have been for 5 days.  Which also leads me to the next point - I have no reason to blog. So will leave this entry up for a couple of days, then blitz it, or at least, not write it anymore....

Thanks to everyone that supported me - wrote comments, read it, motivated me when I considered quitting - you all were very helpful.  After almost 20 years of such a VILE habit, it's nice to be able to breathe, not wake up coughing like I'm dying, as soon as I get out of bed, and to hopefully have STALLED the motherfucking wrinkles.

*Takes bow*

*Exits Stage Left*