Oh the NOSTALGIA of it all... Just read last entry, where an optimistic current smoker said they'd be resuming with the quitting on April 19. Which should make me about 6 weeks smokefree? And "HOW'S that going", I hear you ask...
Well, funny you should say that.
It's not going well at ALL.
I'm not posting this in a Smug Unaccountable manner, to all those that supported me so wholeheartedly - that filled me with warm encouraging remarks, that I ate with the relish that I would if it was Whittakers Dark Caramel chocolate - I'm saying this from the point of the Undefendable Blowhard. I'm smoking still. In FACT, I can't even fathom when I'm going to STOP smoking again - suffice to say, when I do, I won't BLOG about it, in confident manner of WhipperSnappingNonSmoker like last time. Still scraping that egg of my face, and wearing a bit of blotted yolk.
Was at family function in weekend. Had cousins in attendance that have READ blog and who gasped in horrified "JAYSUS CHRIST" manner, when I blurted that I was ducking out to the STREET to have a smoke (there were kids there, so fair play, like any heroin-adled type would) ... But luckily, had sister and her husband there, who said, with contented smug faces "Ohhhh, have you BLOGGED that yet? OR pretending still you're NOT smoking". I replied, with haughty yet slightly snarly face "Yes, blog has been VERY updated, no one thinks I'm still not smoking", but then thought "Hmmmm, maybe I SHOULD confess"... So here we go....
AM SMOKING. AM FILTHY SMOKING FOOL. REALISE IT'S NOT COOL IN MANNER OF TEENAGER, DEFYING SOCIETY - AM SHAMED. Buuuuuttt, and yes there has to be a BUT.. Andy's away lots at the moment, like a third to a half of a week. He's joyfully and rubbingly-in-the-face smokefree (how I RUE mocking him when he had his one lapse)... and that made me break too - you know, those of you that are married - "HE'S not the boss of me" etc etc....
So. This blog. I'm thinking I'll continue blogging (the statistics are truly lovely, it's been viewed a LOT even when I haven't POSTED!), but more in a manner of haphazard everyday life... And when I quit, and am confident I HAVE quit, I'll slip that in to a post. Otherwise, yeah... I'll rename it... hehe...
Good on yoou for the confession.Blame none and one day I know you will succeed
ReplyDeleteStop blamin your husband he aint handing you them!!!
ReplyDeleteAm/was similar die hard. Wondered if you have tried the gum. I never even considered it but it has worked for me. When smoking urge strikes I chew furiously. You will get there when the time is right! Know that feeling of frustration tho, have given up many times before.
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