What did, however, give me the heebies, was 12 - 15 hours of not smoking. And unfortunately, all long-distance travel for me, has involved my trusty sidekick, Andy the Smoker beside me for Every. Single. Second.
And I'll be frank here. By the end of a long haul flight, I honestly maintain if I grabbed the little plastic knife, and attempted to saw through his jugular, the jury would let me off - and likely let me sit in first class, smoking all the way on the return flight. In the last couple of hours, he becomes antagonistic, moody, mean and, well, let's just say nicotine deprivation turns my husband into a bona fide psycho. It's likely why we get "Randomly Selected" for searches - I'm twitching like I have smack in my bottom, and Andy's scowling like he has a bomb in his backpack - not only because of the strong urge to SMOKE, but also because we've spent the last few minutes discussing who gets what asset, and divorce lawyers.
Once, we were flying LA to Chicago, which should be a roughly 3.5 hour flight (sorry, off on a tangent I go). And it would have been. Except Chicago must have heard the rumour we're the Flight Jinxers from Hell, and threw a few hours of thunderstorms. After circling aimlessly for a bit, we headed off to Minnesota (WTF? The only thing I knew about Minnesota was Brenda and Brandon Walsh of 90210 lived there before moving to LA with Steve and Kelly and the Gang), and landed for refuelling, to be put in a queue of approx 60 other planes. The END of the queue. And I noticed, even with my smoker's lack of smell, that people kind of stunk. Worse, since we'd been travelling roughly 18 hours by now (we'd only had a 2 hour stopover in LA, after flying from Auckland) - I noticed that WE probably rated in the Top Ten Smelly Passengers. Anyway, to cut a long story short - our 3.5 hour flight turned into a 11 hour flight, and sweet JESUS, the relief of a smoke when we landed.
There's only been one Happy Travelling Story, as smokers. I actually have to post the photo - another time we flew LA - Frankfurt. Again, we were GAGGING for a smoke, but because we were connecting in Frankfurt to Cologne, we were resigned to waiting a few more hours - but praying for a smoking room. Anyway, walking down the wee ramp from the plane, I sniffed the air, like a bloodhound in an abattoir. I could smell smoke?! Was I hallucinating? We exited, before even going through customs, and saw people walking, talking and SMOKING everywhere! Thank GOD for Germany - they might have had bad people like Hitler - but those crazy Krauts knew the smoking laws were STUPID and had an Open Smoking Policy!
Here's Andy - note the blurry picture - I'd only had one smoke, and my hands were still a little shaky...
OOOOOHHH, and while we're on the topic of photos - I read an article earlier with a celebrity (no one exciting), but they were asked if they googled themselves. They laughed demurely,and admitted they DID. So my brain got to thinking - and here's the result...
"Taylor Kitsch stole the show in his role in the Bang Bang Club. This reviewer gives him TEN STARS"..
ANYWAY.. Day 4 - again, easier than day 3 - totally have this non-smoking thing sussed. Urges down to maybe 8 today? All passed in a couple of minutes.
Oh Jo!!! Sad to burst the good German bubble, but I was in Frankfurt in January 2009 and they now have long sterile corridors leading to a solitary glass cubicle with the air blue inside and the people sucking it in like they did in those nice wee showers HH sent them into..... Hungary, however, Budpest! Now that's another story. Don't go there. Cafes and restaurants still where you can smoke freely! Still reckon things have probably changed there too. You're riding the wave of vehement anti-smoking everywhere now. Even Japan! You can be arrested for smoking out the door of the airport. 1m wide smoking allowed Here (only here) stalls on the streets. And that is the blasted country that made me smoke. Yes. Made me smoke. No self-will involved at all. I had a smoking vending machine outside my apartment to entice me. Smokes 200 yen a pack (that was about $2.20 then). And I'd go into boardrooms geared up to teach where the air was blue and my students ALL smoked! Nasty Germans and nasty Japanese. Now I'm afraid to report, they have turned it against us (well exclude yourself from this) - you, you are now a NON-smoker. Congratulations! I look up Taioma as I type, the hill that beckons me and will hopefully mark my own flight back to health...
ReplyDeleteI forgot to add, I do like that Disneyland pic ;) And that's where Holly and Sophie think Mickey and Donald live? No point prolonging that jolly fantasy castle type stuff imagery anyway...
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