My first blog! And approximately my thirty-second attempt at kicking the smoking habit, which has largely dominated my life for the past almost-20 years. From that, you can correctly deduce I'm old - well, old enough that the hacking cough, the thought of my beautiful daughters growing up orphans, and generally living the life of a Pariah in today's No Smoking society, has culminated in The Big Decision that enough's enough.
So today I went to the doctor. I have this cough. Noooo, not a smoker's cough - crikey - it's VIRAL. Sure, it's lasted almost 5 weeks, and has me sitting in the lounge at 2am, watching Brothers and Sisters, or watching inane videos on Youtube because every time I lie down I break into a cacophony of phlegm, wheezes and a cough that sounds like a bulldog in heat - it's VIRAL I tell you. A pack a day* for the last 20 years, sans a couple of pregnancies where I "cut down" to 5 a day, has NO bearing on the fact that my daughters get a cold, lovingly share it with me, and are back to normal within a week - whereas I take 6 weeks, multiple puffs of ventolin via a spacer, "dry cough" cough mixture, panadol, and usually a course of antibiotics, before I recover enough to not cough for 2 hour sessions every night.... NO, it's VIRAL. *nods*...
However, this time, it's kinda scared me - how many "Adult Whooping Cough" attacks can one woman get? How many times can I explain to family and friends that "No, it's just a cold - Sophie's had it too", without them looking at me that way - and smoking friends - you know that Look. The one where non-smokers get an almost smug expression, before they remember they're meant to unconditionally love and support you, and rearrange their face into a suitably sympathetic expression. Yeah, I know that look well.
So - a pack a day, basically, since I was 16. I'm turning 37 this year. Joining me on this journey (without sounding too much like that dreadful Australian reality show, Outback Jack**), is my long-suffering, but equally long-addicted husband Andy. We start tomorrow. In approx 8 - 14 days we should be smoke free.
Wish us Luck!
*Unless drinking, or consuming alcohol, or times of stress. Or when one's tired - then it can be 25.
** I'm also addicted to reality TV - but one vice at a time people... I don't plan on giving that up.
wahoo you go girl!
ReplyDeleteIf you need any more encouragement, picture your kids at your funeral - instead of grieving for you they are just really pissed off that you smoked yourself to death and feel ripped off that you're not around. That worked for a friend of mine.
ReplyDeleteCrikey Wolfo - well, I'll certainly take that on board. Definitely a Do Not Want image, but possibly best saved for days where I'm getting tempted to re-start ;-)
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks Eddie ♥
But, but... you're the last smoking Simpson's Aunt! You can't deprive my kids of a negative-role-model. ahahahaha. Seriously, your kids are going to need a safe haven from grumpy nicotene-deprived parents in a week or so, so you know, tell them we're here for them....
ReplyDeleteAhh, Kim R, I think you'll find Aunty J still smokes ;-) NOT to mention Uncle B. So in fact, once we quit, we'll still be 50/50 in the family. But offer to take girls v.appreciated. Will likely send them down in Catch-A-Bus in 3 or 4 days, and jet off somewhere lovely to regroup. Mmmkay?
ReplyDeleteas a fellow struggling addict I feel your pain we almost same age and i have watched my mum suffer from heart issues for the last ten years and even though I saw the effects couldn't get myself to stop except when pregnant at which times I was able to go cold turkey before getting tempted around 6 mths post babies. I am addicted to the sensation as well as the habit. What has convinced me is a story I was told recently about a friend of a friend who was about my age wiht kids around my kids age who recently died from mouth cancer her kids refused to come near her because her breath and her STUNK really offensively, for me the thought of killing myself is bad enough but the thought of my kids not wanting me near them for a long period before I eventually die just made me feel so sad. I have found patches to be the best solution for me for 2 reasons A- you can't smoke when you have a patch on and B- I was a much nicer mummy with the nicotine still in my system. GOOD LUCK AND STAY STRONG you CAN do it!!!!
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